他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱 。  
【超级幽默的儿童英语冷笑话 不信你不笑】约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？  
哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了 。  
儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？  
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人！  
儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？  
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！  
儿子：哦 。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔•杰克逊！  
His Fault 他的错  
Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.  
Mother: How did he do it?  
Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.  
比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃 。  
妈妈：他怎么打的？  
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了 。  
Like father, like son 有其父必有其子  
Son: Papa, what's the meaning of " Like father, like son"?  
Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?  
儿子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀？  
父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦？  
They're Busy 他们很忙  
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.  
"May I speak to your parents? "  
"They're busy. "  
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "  
"The police. "  
"Can I speak to them?"  
"They're busy. "  
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "  
"The firemen. "  
"Can I speak to them? "  
"They're busy. "  
"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"  
"Looking for me. "  
电话铃响了，小男孩接了电话 。  
“请你父母听电话好吗？”  
“他们很忙 。”  
“噢，那家里还有其他人吗？”  
“还有警察 。”  
“我可以和他们说话吗？”  
“他们很忙 。”  
“那还有其他人吗？”  
“还有消防员 。”  
“我可以和他们说话吗？”  
“他们也很忙 。”  
“请直接告诉我——你的父母、警察和消防员都在你家，但他们都很忙，他们到底在干什么？”  
“在找我 。”  
Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口  
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?  
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.  
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？  
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行 。  
I can not see it at all 我根本就看不见  
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."  
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见 。”  
Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢  
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"  
Little Johnny then stood up.  
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"  
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"  
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说 。

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